Kiss

"Stephen kissed me in the spring,
 Robin in the fall,
 But Colin only looked at me
 And never kissed at all.

Stephen's kiss was lost in the jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's  eyes
Haunts me night and day."

--Sara Teasdale

Lazy Sundays

When I take a memory trip down my childhood all the Sundays are irrevocably attached to eating beef.I can never associate a Sunday without Beef.After attending Sunday classes  in church we come home with the fervent hope of eating beef and rice.I think I realized and exhibited frustration for the very first time in my life on Sundays where there was no meat. Blame it on the carnivorous genes in my family.
As we grew older, the frequency of having beef was every other alternate days.. And other days it was fish. I cant imagine a single day where there was no beef or fish.

After I shifted for my studies to Bangalore for the very first time I learned that cow slaughter is religious thing and none of my friends  eat it.  I remember one day I got beef to eat with lunch when Swati (who is a Shiva devotee) asked what is it I said 'it is Mutton' so as to not make her feel weird or something.She stretched her hand towards my lunch box to taste some and I immediately apologized and informed her that Its beef. It took lot of time for me to adjust with that but eventually I started liking Chicken

Now I can survive without eating it for months.I can even survive without eating non-veg food  for months. I never thought I can change that part in me ,but it did..Nothing is constant! Everybody is a victim of changes!!

Football World Cup 2014

Its like all of a sudden I woke up from a deep sleep only to realise that football World cup is just a few weeks away. I am one of that kind who turns to become a football fan only when there is a World cup. So I inevitably become a fan once in 4 years. And this time its in Brazil.. yayayay!!! . And I will support a team which has more good looking players. Yes  I am crazy. I know...

Last time it was in SA with Shakira full on.. :) .. I am yet to see this time's official song.
I can remember the events starting from  1994. I remember having a T-shirt with the World cup in 1994. In 1998 it was my first year in Pre-degree where seniors ragged me and asked me to sing 'Un,dos,tre'.. :) ..  2002 I was doing my Bachelor's degree second year and couldn't even watch a single match as we were not allowed to watch television in the hostel. I was staying in a convent hostel and we almost lived a nun's life. 2006 I remember having a conversation with someone through smsing about the whole thing.

And last time in the year 2010, I had come here to Dubai to attend a few job interviews and whenever we switched the television on there was Shakira's belly..And now here I am in the year 2014 writing this very own post and at the same time introspecting my decision to move to Australia...

What would I be doing in the year 2018? Would I be active in this space? Alive and kicking?

My poor heart....

My heart has been broken,has been abused,has been cursed,torn,hurt,poisoned,crushed, disrespected and mostly injected with pain. 

Nevertheless it is not convinced of loosing its power of falling in love again.

So the old saying  'You can crush me, but you can never crush my spirit'  still holds good

Feeling depressed!!

Charsi

Me: Your mom must be very pretty. Whats her age?
Kiran : My age + 18 ..

Somehow I found  the way he put it ,  really pretty.. :)

The time being Passed!

Of late,for me, one of the happiest moment in a real long time was getting the Australian PR .3 Months of sheer anticipation,excitement and restlessness  came to an end on Dec 30th 2013, just because the outcome of my application for the PR was positive . I was all happy.. 
The happiness was followed by my son's birthday and my birthday . It even got multiplied by some other reasons. And then my much awaited  Australian Trip .  And I was thinking about  my options to leave Dubai.
All these 4 years while working in Dubai I always missed Bangalore(I still do and always will...) so much that, I  bore  my colleagues about my Bangalore days almost everyday. But never ever  I felt this way as I am feeling right now , when I was about to leave Bangalore.

So the obvious question, what am i feeling right now about leaving Dubai? How I wish I could name that feeling. It is strange . It is unpleasant. Its is painful. The thought that I might have to start from scratch again in OZ land dreads me. And  on a worse not, nobody is forcing me to go there ,it is solely my decision and  The decision is made . But implementing it is taking a stroll on me emotionally.

Hope I will feel better as the time passes.

Australian Dreams

Australia has been a dream for me since my college days.I am still unsure what attracted me to this place  , may be the flowers and trees once I have seen in a wall paper or may b the laid back atmosphere it has or may be the white beaches or beautiful sunny weather. I am still not sure the pulling factor but I always wanted to live there at least for sometime in my life.

So as a further step I applied for the Australian PR and I was granted a visa on last December.Needless to say ,I was all happy and jumping with the hopes of moving to Australia sooner or later..

The visa grant letter came with a 'First Entry Date' of 7th Oct 2014. That means me and my kid should make the entry before that date. Otherwise the visa will be deemed invalid.

So I decided to travel and was all excited.When I checked the Australian destinations , all of them are more than 10 hours flight time  from Dubai. The shortest flying distance is to Perth which is 10 hours and Sydney being the longest . My excitement suddenly started to narrow down thinking abt the long flight I should have alone with the toddler.I started thinking over and over about it. All happiness and excitement started to vanish slowly. I started feeling that trip would be horrible with me and kid all alone. My husband was not getting leaves and there were other issues as well.I started to sulk.

 I started thinking over many options.

Option 1: As my cousin lives in Melbourne, at first I thought I will go to Melbourne. The non stop  flights were always full until March. The other two flights to Melbourne are connecting in Singapore and in KULampur.And changing the flight with the kid around wont be a nice idea. On top of that , MEL flight is 14 or 15 hours long. 

Option 2 : I checked whether any of relatives or friends live in Perth. From my parents I came to know that my second cousin lives in there. I checked with them whether they can just pick me up from the airport and drop off to where do I stay. I tried to get their contact number just for emergency purposes . Both in vain.

Option 3 : It was not even option when I started with this whole thing. But came very close to be an option. Some spark related and beautiful option .. I am sorry I cant give in the details here...G.H.A.Z.A.N.O.V.A   :).. And this was the best option.. 

So finally i took the big step of travelling alone with the toddler and Chose Perth as the destination cuz that's the shortest flying time from dxb. I booked a crew hotel and changed the currency. As such I am scared of flight journey, so scared that even the Captain and FO can hear my heart beats and will mistake it for some kinda turbulence.
But what option do i have other than this? Though I have travelled alone with the kiddo to Indian Destinations, this was the first time I was going to fly to long distance where I will  surely get a jet lag .

Throughout my predicament and agony, my mother kept on calling me and said all will be ok. There will be someone to extend a helping hand when needed.. I kept thinking.. Thinking.. That's what i do other times as well. Again checked on my options just to make sure if any other options are there.

Finally the big day arrived. The flight was kinda empty. I got 3 seats to myself and one other person sitting in the 4th seat.It was a night flight.So the baby fell asleep past the dinner. I too was sleepy. The aircraft was cruising at 40,000 feet. Not much of noise.Peaceful atmosphere. I was getting kinda royal treatment by the crew firstly because i have a toddler secondly I think I was the only staff who was travelling in that flight. Towards the equator, there was slight turbulence which woke me up. I checked on the baby he was fast asleep.

Exactly at the same moment I realised that the person who will lend a helping hand  in difficult times or who will never leave your side is 'YOU' yourself.You need to be strong and tough and keep your heads up. 'YOU' have a lot of hidden potential in you which will come out in least predicted situations.And this was the moment for me. I was no more scared of the turbulence.I looked at my baby. Hugged him tight and went back to sleep only to open my eyes when the destination was just 30 minutes in reach..


Life is good :)