February 2019

I am not sure if I mentioned in my last post that I have decided to post every month of this year. Trying to pen down something is not always easy. For this month , I thought I will write more about
my life in general.

Amma and Ullas left to India on 1st of Feb. It is definitely more lonely after they left. But with Gab being around I feel that I can manage my loneliness.It is a blessing that I have work from home arrangements.Weekly twice I work from home so that I can pick Gab up from school. Other days he goes to 'Out of school care' after  his class. I will manage to pick him up by 5.15 PM usually.

Generally I feel more lonely. It is the same way I felt when I was expecting Gabriel back in 2011. I eagerly waited to go back to India to be with my mom then.I was living in Dubai. From May 2011 to November 2011 , I counted days impatiently. Even though I don't feel with that much of intensity I still feel somewhat same now. Eager to be somewhere else but not yet known where exactly.

It was double joy to be home for Christmas that year. Christmas 2011. I thought Gab will pop out for Christmas . He dint. Then I fervently hoped he would pop out for New Year's.But no. At last he came out on January 3rd 2012. He celebrated his 7th birthday last month.

In the year 2011 I celebrated Christmas at my home in Angamaly after 4 years. I think I have mentioned zillion times about how I always miss home in Angamaly during Christmas. After 2011 it was 2015 when I was home for Christmas. 4 years passed since then . Hoping to celebrate in this year.

I have plans of going to US  this year. Not sure how that will turn out. Keep on talking to the girls from my year 10 on whatsapp. Its been 21 years since I finished year 10. Back in 1998.

Talking to the girls reminded me of the movie 'Ayal Katha Ezuthukayaanu'. And the song 'Etho Nidra than'  from that movie  reminds me of Akka my mom's sister and Sangeetha her daughter . It was 3 of us who went to watch the movie when it released in Aluva . The ever movie enthusiast family.

Anyways signing off now... Next post in another month

Stay blessed..

Deepa- Light

My name Deepa means light in many Indian languages.  To say the least, light always inspired me. Candle lights, Christmas lights, Decoration lights be it anything at times you can find me lost in many places staring at the lights. It gives me immense joy by just looking at these.

When I was growing up back in Kerala (India) during my study time I used to stare at a lamp on top of a chapel which was a bit far. But right now many other building came on the way and one cannot see it. Even we moved from that house to another one. Those times our house was facing rice paddies. I used to stare endlessly at various light spots in the paddy with a textbook in my hand. It kind of filled my mind with pure bliss. Christmas lights around the world fascinated me. I picked some of my destinations to travel just because they are well lit during Christmas.

Thinking of my childhood made me think about another thing which is that I always got judged because sometimes I dint fit in with the norms.  When I was a young adult I learned to tweak myself to fit into the crowd more. But some things remain the same how much ever you try to please others and fall in the normalcy of things

The comments on me usually used to go like this… Oh look at her ‘She is so headstrong!!’, ‘She is so talkative’, and ‘She must be a flirt and a bitch! ’ ..   What I find amusing is that when they find out that I am different from what they thought then they get offended… Come on… You can feel stupid if your judgement was wrong but don’t feel offended…ever!

Years passed by. Marriage. Child. Three relocations in different continents. Made countless friends. Lost many of them... Some rifts… Some mending... Life goes on. But till today I find people who are too quick to judge. It’s the strangers masquerade behind the mask called ‘friends’.

Ona another note I decided to post once a month this whole year. 2019 Blogging year…